Not everyday can be full great non-drinking fun. Sometimes, a person has to work, and run errands, and move boxes, and rehearse, and do a lot of BULLSH*T.
And at the end of that day....all I could ever want in the world is a nice whiskey on the rocks to cool my jets. But why? To calm my nerves? Or to numb away my responsibilities?
I don't actually have an answer but I'm very stressed and very antsy. I just couldn't sleep last night and none of my usual tricks of falling asleep worked.... warm milk, quick tug, hot shower.... But I wasn't succumbing to Tylenol PM or a glass of wine either, so now what?!
Instead, I sat up, and I stared at the wall. And I wondered, "what am I doing this for?" Again, I don't have the answers. My friends are finding me terribly boring, life isn't as adventurous as I'm making it out to be, and I'm losing focus.
But the one thing I am sure of.....Jumping off the wagon will NOT provide clarity. It didn't this weekend, it won't today....
I reserve myself to laundry then!
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
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